


All I Want Is You

by frogy



Category: In Other Lands | The Turn of the Story - Sarah Rees Brennan
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogy/pseuds/frogy
Summary: “We should do something for Golden,” Elliot says. “Just for the guys. Like a stag night.”“A what?” Luke says.“Like a party with all his guy friends to celebrate his last night of freedom,” Elliot says.





	All I Want Is You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kass/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide!
> 
> I want to say that this is like 'The Hangovers' or 'Bridesmaids' of the Borderlands, but I haven't actually seen either of those movies, so if it's a little bit more [Hey Ladies](http://the-toast.net/series/hey-ladies/), ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.
> 
> I played a little fast as loose with canon, just go with it.
> 
> I used google for research clothing stores and popular karaoke songs and restaurants and [spoilers] but decided that Elliot knows exactly what I know about electricity and Hanukkah and Jesus and didn't bother to look those up at all.
> 
> Thank you to everyone from the Yuletide Discord who helped with this. All remaining mistakes and Americanisms are my own.

It starts because there is some sort of Elven tradition for the women to get together before a wedding to do, well, Elliot’s not really sure. Elliot is pretty sure they do things like this in the otherlands too, bridal showers and hen dos and stag nights. Leaving at age 13 pretty much forever means he’s not quite sure what all those wedding-related things contain. He has a vague sense at least one of them involve strippers.

What he is sure of is that Luke is very much not invited to Serene’s thing. 

Elliot finds out from Luke when Luke did that thing he does instead of complaining, which is saying that everything is fine and he doesn’t mind at all because it’s a thing for the Elven women and he is neither and he hopes Serene has a good time. Elliot doesn’t believe Luke. They are sword sisters and Luke should be there and if he won’t be mad about it then Elliot will be mad on his behalf.

“We should do something for Golden,” Elliot says. “Just for the guys. Like a stag night.”

“A what?” Luke says.

“Like a party with all his guy friends to celebrate his last night of freedom,” Elliot says.

“Freedom from what?” Luke asks.

“Serene!” Eliot says. That should be obvious. Everyone takes it as so obvious in the otherlands that even kids know it.

But Luke doesn’t. “I think he’s already pretty well committed to her,” Luke says, “even without the whole wedding thing.” Luke looks suspiciously at Elliot. “That’s a horrible thing to think about your partner. You don’t think that about me, right?”

“No.” Elliot considers this. “I don’t think anyone actually does.” If Elliot were being honest about his feels, which he tries ever to be, all this talk of weddings makes Elliot want Luke even more tied to him. No amount of Luke being his would be enough. He wants Luke to listen when he tells him not to run off to battle, not to put himself at risk like that. He wants Luke to be enough of his that Elliot could know that Luke is always, always coming home. 

But then Luke wouldn’t be the person Elliot loves so much and that’s equally unacceptable. 

Maybe other people don’t experience feelings the same way. If other people feel anything like he does he has no idea how they could think a relationship is shackles. So he gives the only explanation he has. “It’s a thing from the otherlands.”

“Well, it’s a terrible thing. Plus, if Golden wanted to celebrate with his friends, he has all those gentleman from school that he hangs out with. I like him, but we’re really more Serene’s friends.”

“He can invite them too; the more the merrier,” Elliot says.

“I don’t think I like the wedding traditions from the other side of the wall. Can we skip them when we get married?”

“What?” Elliot says. When they get married? Who said they were getting married? Where did that come from?

“Please don’t do this,” Luke says.

Elliot hmm noncommittally. He’s still caught up with the thought of marrying Luke. But Luke must take that for agreement, because he drops it.

Luke should know better than that. So everything else that happens next is really his fault.

———

They meet at the Bordercamp for Elliot’s big, ‘throw Golden a stag night’ thing. Golden thought it was so nice that Serene’s friends wanted to do something to celebrate with him. Elliot goes a few days ahead of the rest of them, telling Luke he needed to do some cross-cultural inter-cooperative something or other research at the library and since they were going through that way anyway, why shouldn’t he get a head start and do his research before they head out. Luke is grumpy that Elliot is going to be gone, but Elliot thought that was really unfair because when Luke’s the one running off it’s usually to battle where he might die and Elliot is going to be perfectly safe, even if he’s maybe not 100% honest with Luke about why he needs to get there two days early.

Anyway, he’s in the library where he said he’s be when Luke gets there. He’s even fully absorbed in the book on the War of the Western Bluffs which took place four generations ago and that he hasn’t previously studied before. That’s an oversight. The Dwarves and Harpies were allied for it and developed a pidgin language that the opposition tried without success to crack until Marrianne Codebreaker. When he flips to the back to see what else she did, Elliot’s disappointed to learn she gave up that name to become a Sunborn when she married some great great cousin of Luke’s. He mostly picked up to keep himself busy for the half hour or so he had to wait, but it’s fascinating. So fascinating he doesn’t even notice Luke has arrived until he looks up and there he is sitting across from Elliot. Luke looks settled there, like he’s been there a while. 

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“A while,” Luke says.

“Sorry,” Elliot says. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were busy,” Luke says, nodding at Elliot’s book. “I was going to, but then I sat down and then I was watching you read and it was like being back at school. I used to watch you studying all the time. You’re hot when you’re into something.”

“You did?” Elliot says, and then, wait, “I am?”

“Yeah,” Luke says, color rising to his face. And Elliot’s not convinced he looks anything of the sort when he’s busy reading, but Luke with his wings out blushing as he admits to wanting him is disarming. 

Elliot sticks a scrap of paper in his book to save his place, standing so he can lean over the table and press a quick kiss to Luke’s lips. He says “aww, did you miss me?” because the two days they’ve been apart is fathomable. It’s too much to think about Luke sitting in the library, wanting him for years throughout school.

“I did,” Luke says, earnestly, if not a little embarrassed, wings coming up in a tell-tale move like a shrug to hide him from onlookers.

“Well, we’re both here now.”

“And you’re not reading at the moment,” Luke points out, blushing harder.

“You should hurry up and distract me before I start again.”

“I can do that,” Luke says, glancing around. The library is emptier than it ever was when they were in school. Luke grabs Elliot’s hand, and pulls him away from the table to the stacks. 

Elliot goes easily, letting Luke push him up against a shelf of books on ship maintenance, authors Re-Sa, kissing him breathless. “Be quiet,” Luke whispers into Elliot’s mouth as he drops to his knees to do something that would absolutely scandalize Bright-Eyes.

———

They’re only a few minutes late when they wander out of the library to see that Golden and his friends have arrived.

He’s got two other guys with him, a small pile of luggage sitting at their feet. Elliot’s first thought when they get close enough to really see them is that he didn’t know Golden had a twin.

“Hi,” Golden says, giving first Luke and then Elliot cheek kisses in greeting. “This is Silver-Moonlight-Glittering-On-A-Still-Lake,” Golden introduces them to his doppelgänger. Up close, Elliot can spot the differences between them. Silver is an inch or so taller even with the slight wedge-heel of the boots Golden has on, with a narrower face, and where Golden’s hair is honey-blonde waves, Silver’s white-blond hair matches his name.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Silver says with a nod of his head that gives the impression of a curtsey. The initial impression is that he’s beautiful but in a slightly terrifying way, that Golden didn’t have even on horseback with a bow and arrow sneaking into battle with them.

“And this is Sunflower-Grows-Straight-And-Tall,” Golden says, introducing his other friend, a brunette with shockingly green eyes and eyelashes that cannot be natural. Sunflower has a bubbly, friendly smile that matches the hello hugs he gives Luke and Elliot.

Elliot tells them he just needs to grab his luggage from the cabin and they’ll be ready to go.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Serene says running up to the group. She has a small pack on her back, easily less than half of what the guys have packed, but Elliot has traveled with her before. Considering they don’t need to bring a camp or weapons with them, it’s probably more than she needs for an overnight.

“Serene,” Elliot asks with growing trepidation, “what are you doing here?”

“Golden invited me,” Serene says looking between the two of them. She’s inquisitive when she looks at Elliot, but when her gaze gets caught on Golden softens to mush.

“This was supposed to be a guys-only trip,” Elliot says, not sure who betrayed him.

“Luke said it was fine,” Golden says looking worriedly between them.

“Oh, sure, of course.” Elliot glares daggers at Luke. Luke does not look apologetic. So much for the afterglow. “It’s Golden’s party, if he wants you here, that’s cool,” Elliot says even though he doesn’t mean it.

“I’ll just grab my stuff and we’ll be off.”

———

It’s a good thing Serene is there. The wall isn’t that far from camp, but Elliot can only assume based on their weight that for some reason the guys have packed bricks in their bags. 

Elliot takes the lead as they head out, everyone trailing behind him. The guys make a good show of carrying their bags to start, taking off in good cheer.

It seems like Golden is the first one in their group of friends getting married, which would normally be a mark of honor, except he forced the issue by running away to be with Serene. So Silver isn’t really sure it counts. Like, sure, technically everyone agreed that Porcelain had the best Fourteenth, but that’s just because he had the Best-of-All-Worlds Elven Orchestra perform which anyone can buy for enough money, it’s not like it’s because he’s the best hostess or anything.

This devolves into gossiping about all the fancy elf parties they’ve been to. Silver tells this whole convoluted story about a party someone named Share threw, only to end with, ‘oh, that’s right, you weren’t invited,’ to Golden. 

“How do you two know each other?” Elliot cuts in, dropping back to join the group. Just because he’s used to people who are aggressive-aggressive to him when they don’t like him doesn’t mean he’s blind to someone being passive-aggressive. 

“We’re cousins,” Golden answers.

“On our father’s side,” Silver adds pointedly. Elliot’s not sure why that matters. “But anyway, this party is going to be way better than anything Share ever did. No one’s ever had a party in the otherlands before. I’m so glad you invited me.”

“Of course,” Golden says. “I wouldn’t have it without you.” Elliot can’t even tell if Golden is lying.

They move on to talking about Gentle-Hand’s party, which they both attended. And Elliot picks up speed again. No one follows his lead. Between the bags and the meandering gossip, they’ve settled into a nice slow walk. No one seems to be in the same rush as Elliot is. Elliot made plans, and they’re already falling behind. 

This pattern repeats. Elliot stops, waits for the cavalry to catch up with him, and then speeds up again. It’s slow going and Elliot keeps looking at his watch. When Elliot checks nervously for the dozenth time, Luke catches him at it, and he hurries from where he’s walking at part of the pack to catch up with Elliot. “What’s wrong?” Luke asks.

“I made plans and we’re going to be late,” Elliot says under his breath, not wanting everyone else to hear.

“Are the troops moving too slowly for your next plan?”

“No, it’s fine. No troops. It’s just a party. We can be flexible. It’s not an invasion,” Elliot says, glancing back to see Sunflower struggling with his bag. “But maybe you and Serene can help with the bags?”

“Sure,” Luke says. “Whatever you need.”

Luke drops back to the group, and somehow without being insulting and without fanfare, he and Serene relieve the guys of their bags. 

The walk picks up after that, and it’s not long after that that they are at the wall.

Elliot stops. 

“So, first off, Luke, you have to put your wings away. No one on the other side of the wall has wings, and they can’t know you have them either. Everyone else, you might get some questions about your ears. Just say they’re for the South Devon Comic Con.”

“I thought people from this side of the wall can’t go through?” Serene says.

It’s a little late to be raising that objection, but Serene is smarter than the rest of them. She probably knew not to tip him off that she was invited. “There isn’t supposed to be a wall that only some people can see at all.”

“What’s Comic Con?” Sunflower asks. 

“Not important,” Elliot answers. Back to the point. “I’m going to get us a car when we get through. A car is like a carriage but you won’t see anything pulling it. It’s totally normal. Just pretend everything you see is totally normal and you can ask me about anything you see when we get somewhere where we are alone. If you act like you’ve never seen something before it’s just going to draw unwanted attention.” 

Maybe he should have given this speech earlier. He hopes they are all good actors.

They go through the wall and down the stairs that seem to go on forever, until they reach the bottom. There, Elliot finds the bag of stuff he stashed. It’s got an old cell phone, some cash and credit cards that he pilfered from his dad’s house. He would have thought that the goodbye graffiti was too big to miss, but all the stuff was exactly where his dad used to leave it when Elliot lived at home, when Elliot was expected to get groceries for himself and do his own back-to-school shopping and ignore the way the mothers taking their kids for new backpacks and notebooks looked pityingly at the sad, lonely boy doing his own shopping every fall.

“Where did that come from?” Luke asks. Everyone else is too busy looking around curiously. They’re mostly in a field right now, which should be the most familiar thing about this side of the wall.

“I took it from my dad’s house,” Elliot says, taking off through the field toward the road that runs along side it.

Luke hurries to join Elliot at the front of their group so he can make wild accusations at him. “You stole it?!”

“I borrowed it,” Elliot says. “It’s fine.”

Luke does not look convinced. 

Elliot has better things to do than convince him, like taking out the phone and ordering an Uber. Elliot had planned for them to get here mid-afternoon, but they overshot that by a good amount. The sky a dusky twilight blue over the field, but the sun goes down early in mid-December. So Elliot can tell himself it’s still late-afternoon, and not early-evening even if the sun is already starting to set.

All five of them jump when the street light above them blinks on.

Sunflower looks around pointedly. “Since we’re alone, can I ask?”

“It’s a streetlight,” Elliot says. “It’s so you can see where you are going on the road.”

“That would be so useful for moving troops,” Luke says, looking at how they line the road in even intervals, giving off bright steady light that is nothing like the flickering lanterns they hang in the trees in the Borderlands. 

Elliot is of two minds about Luke’s increasing reference to moving armies. As often as not, when Luke joins Elliot in a library these days it’s because Luke has a book of military maneuvers some general or another has recommended to him, because they’re grooming him to lead armies instead of charge into battle himself. Luke was leading troops before he was done with school. Of course a shining, successful Sunborn is going to move up the ranks. And that’s good. Luke deserves it. Luke being promoted will take him out of the line of fire. Luke would be a leader who listens to the councilors, who wants to sign treaties and have peace. 

But it’s so easy to stop thinking about your enemies as people if you can’t see them. If you don’t feel the resistance of their body when your swords driving into them, if you don’t have to see their life and their blood spilling out. Elliot thinks Luke’s the right amount of upset, but he gets the sense the generals think Luke is too soft, too upset every time. You should be upset to take a life. And Elliot doesn’t want Luke to stop knowing first hand what war is. He doesn’t want the enemies to stop being human in Luke’s mind. It’s only a small step from there for the same thing to happen to your soldiers, the people on your line stop being people too and start being pawns on a chess board.

“But you’d lose the element of surprise,” Serene says, looking up suspiciously. “You could see where you're going, but your enemy could also see you.”

“Exactly,” Elliot jumps in. “The lights are much better for peace-time. They facilitate civilian movement.”

“But how does it work?” Sunflower asks.

“Electricity,” Elliot says. “It’s like, umm, like you now how lightning lights up the sky. It’s like that, except they control the electricity and put it in wires so they can turn it on and off when they want. For streetlights the government controls them, but in your own house there are switches so you can control them yourself.”

“They have them in houses?” Silver asks.

“How do they capture lightning?” Sunflower says at the same time.

“Yes, they have them in houses,” Elliot answers the easier one first. “And, um, I’m not sure?” Elliot says sheepishly to Sunflower. He hates admitting that. “They teach it in school here, but I went to school in the borderlands with Serene and Luke so I never learned.”

“Do you think someone else would know?” Sunflower asks.

“I think it’s kind of a specialized thing,” Elliot says. “Most people don’t care how it works, they just care that it does. But there are probably books or something.”

“Sunflower is studying applied meteorology engineering,” Golden says. “So this is like, his thing, but he’s way too humble to say anything about it.” And as if on cue, Sunflower protests, but Golden talks right over him. “Normally it’s a women’s field, but Sunflower had the highest grades on the entrance exam since Surefire so they had to let him in.”

Elliot is about to say something about being impressed, but everyone in his party startles again. He notices that before he notices the mini-van that’s pulled up in front of them. The driver rolls down the window and says “Hi, I’m Andreh the Uber driver. You’re the group I’m looking for, right?”

“Yup,” Elliot says. “We’ve got luggage, can we put it in the boot?”

“No problem,” Andreh says, popping it for them. Luke and Serene get it all lifted into the back, and Elliot waves Golden, Sunflower, and Silver into the back seat. Serene and Luke climb into the middle, which leaves Elliot sliding the door closed behind them before climbing into the front seat confirming the hotel address for Andreh.

“I’m still think we should bring your dad’s credit card back. You shouldn’t take it from him without asking.” Luke has rightly taken Andreh's presence to mean they can’t talk about electricity anymore, but he doesn’t seem to realize that theft should also be off the conversational table. It was too good to hope Luke would drop the stolen thing. 

“It’s fine. I used to do it all the time when I lived with him.”

“But that’s different, when you were a kid living in his house. When’s the last time you spoke to him?”

Luke doesn’t get it with his perfect family. He’d be horrified to know Elliot would go weeks without talking to his father when even when they lived in the same house, before he ever heard of the Borderlands. He’d be horrified to know Elliot didn’t even say goodbye. 

Elliot wouldn’t leave the Sunborn manor without saying goodbye and they’re not even his family. They just care so much more.

Elliot has a hard time telling Luke that type of stuff when they’re alone when they’re having serious conversations. He’s definitely not going to say that with a minivan full of elves he’s just met. “Exactly,” Elliot says instead. “He should be happy to get off easy, I could be there in person annoying him with my presence. Instead, all I’m taking is money.”

“It’s not right,” Luke says. “You shouldn’t just be taking. You should at least ask. Things can’t be that different here that asking isn’t right.”

This is ridiculous. “Raise your hand if you know what a credit card is.” Elliot puts his hand up and looks around pointedly at everyone else. He is the only one with his hand up. “Okay, so we’re doing this my way.”

Luke doesn’t look happy about it, but he stops complaining.

Now that he can get a word in edgewise, Andreh says “you probably shouldn’t be talking about that in front of me.”

“Sorry,” Elliot says. “Pretend you didn’t hear anything.” And then “hey, do you have any Beatles on there?”

“Are you going to give me five stars?” Andreh asks. “And a tip?”

“For sure,” Elliot says.

“Then I’ve got whatever you want,” the Uber driver says, scrolling through Spotify until ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ starts playing from the speakers.

“It’s your favorite,” Elliot says, stretching his arm back to poke at Luke. Between the fact that it never spontaneously combusted and liking the music, Luke never complained about the tape deck that Elliot smuggled into the Borderlands.

“I do like the minstrels in a box,” Luke says, probably confusing the hell out of Andreh. The small grin on Luke’s face seems to appear against his will. “Although I like it better when you sing it.”

“You sing?” Golden asks.

“Eh.” Elliot makes a hand-wavy gesture. He sings but he’s not great at it.

“Golden and I were both in show choir at finishing school. I had a solo in ‘My Woman Went to War’,” Silver says.

“It was beautiful.” Golden pays the obligatory complement. “I had the solo in our closing number, ‘The Love of a Gentleman’.”

“And of course Golden was wonderful,” Silver says, not to be outdone even in being complimentary.

The song plays on in the background while they talk, and when the chorus comes around again Golden joins in. Silver jumps in on his tail, and Luke already familiar with the song joins too..

When the next song comes on, Golden and Silver drop out, not knowing the words. But Luke recognizes it. And starts singing. He doesn’t have the perfect clear voice of Silver or the something range of Golden, but he’s having fun and that’s just as infectious. “Come on, you too, Elliot,” he says, poking back.

And well, Elliot joins in.

———

Music is a good common denominator, the eclectic Spotify mix giving a nice mix of oldies and pop songs that have everyone joining in by the second time a chorus comes around.

They all quiet down quickly though when Andreh drops them off at the hotel. They are quiet as Elliot leads them through the automatic doors, into the brightly lit lobby, where central heating is making it nice and toasty compared to the winter chill outside. 

Elliot leaves Serene and the guys with the luggage while he checks in. No need to make a scene with the front desk staff or confuse his group with telephones and computer check-in or any of the other totally standard hotel things when they’re in a rush. 

Elliot gets them checked in in short order, and when he comes back with their key cards, the elves have figured out the complimentary cookies and water cooler and taken up residence on the lobby couches. Luke appears to have wandered off. Elliot goes to find him. 

He doesn’t have to go far. Luke’s a little ways away from the rest of the group, standing next to the Christmas tree in the lobby. It’s pretty standard as far as public Christmas trees go, green tree, generic red ornaments, white lights, taller than Elliot and Luke, a little bit shorter than the ceiling. Even after years of living on the other side of the wall where they don’t seem to have, he’s still so used to it as background noise of winter in the this world, that he barely noticed it when they came in.

Luke is noticing it. He’s entranced.

“What is this?”

“A Christmas tree,” Elliot tells him.

“What’s that?”

“A tree for Christmas,” Elliot says.

Luke pulls his gaze away from the tree just long enough to roll his eyes at Elliot. “That isn’t actually helpful, you know. What are they for? We don’t have Christmas trees.”

“People lie to children,” Elliot says. Even though the idea of Christmas presents carried over to the Borderlands, they don’t seem to have any concept of popular religion to go with it. “Instead of just exchanging presents, parents pretend Father Christmas, this fat, old guy with a beard breaks into their house via their chimney and leaves the presents for kids under the tree.”

“If he’s fat, how does he fit in the chimney?” Luke muses. Elliot opens his mouth to answer that that’s really not the point, but Luke beats him to it with a “never mind.”

“They are great. I change my mind, we should bring electricity to the Borderlands so we can do this to all the trees. It would be bright enough for troops to see, but if they were all like this, they wouldn’t give away our position, and—” Luke cuts himself off.

Elliot knows he’s not going to like the answer, but he can’t help but ask. “And what?”

“Well, they’re really pretty, aren’t they.”

“I guess.” Elliot’s not convinced. “They don’t do that to all the outdoor trees. Just the ones they cut down and put inside. And you can’t just make all trees Christmas trees. Not everyone celebrates Christmas.”

“Why not, the trees are great. And who doesn’t like presents?”

“The holiday isn’t about the trees or presents here. It’s about this guy Jesus who lived a really long time ago,” Elliot says. “Christmas is his birthday.”

“And everyone celebrates his birthday with decorated trees?”

“Not everyone. Some people think he was the son of god,” Elliot says. He prepared for the logistics of this trip, getting money and credit cards and a cell phone, making restaurant and hotel reservations. He’s a little thin on otherlands theology. At the time, he prioritised learning to speak Elvish and Troll and Mermaid, but he’s beginning to see some gaps in his home world education. “People think he did a bunch of miracles and like died for their sins so they worship him.”

Luke looks confused. Elliot has no idea how to begin to explain the concept of dying for people’s sins. He hopes Luke doesn’t ask.

That must be too confusing of a topic to even wrap a question around. “What type of miracles?” Luke thankfully asks instead.

“Oh,” Elliot says. He really doesn’t know the details but “he cured sick people, and walked on water, and turned water to wine.”

“Was he a medic?” Luke asks. “They cure sick people.”

“No,” Elliot answers.

“Okay,” Luke says, thinking. Luke’s thinking shows on his face. “I guess other people take car of the sick too. Like, one time when I was little I ate something bad and was sick all over the barracks and my dad took care of me, and he’s not a healer, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Elliot says, thinking about Michael Sunborn, larger than life, taking care of a little sick Luke and knitting them all sweaters, and how different the Border lands would be if people valued the great Sunborn family’s caring as much as they valued their prowess in battle.

“And for the wine, doesn’t all wine come from water by tending grapes? Because you definitely understand how farming works. You lectured that Dwarven General about terrace farming for hours. I’m pretty sure he signed just to get you to shut up.”

“Tell me how terrace farming works,” Elliot says.

“You build stairs out of the mountain and then you plant the crops on those stairs,” Luke says, in an answer that is less wrong than Elliot was expecting. “I still don’t understand how this is related to decorated trees. Is Father Christmas like, Jesus’s father?”

“No,” Elliot says. 

“Then I still don’t get it.”

Elliot wants to tell him off, that it’s simple and that Luke is just too stupid to get it. But Elliot doesn’t really get it himself. How do you explain the concept of god to someone? Elliot doesn’t like not knowing things. It leaves him wrong-footed. And they have other things they’re supposed to be doing. “Let’s go. Everyone else is waiting and I have our room keys.”

———

The elves are all very impressed with the elevators and key cards and all the electricity in the hotel as they go up to their rooms. 

Elliot booked them two adjoining rooms. Elliot gets them both open and opens the door between the two so they can all share

“So, what is this place?” Sunflower asks, standing in the doorway between the rooms, looking between them. Luke and Serene are behind Elliot in one, while Golden bounces on one of the beds in the other room and Silver opens and closes empty drawers, inspecting them.

“It’s a hotel,” Elliot says. “It’s a place you can rent rooms when you are travelling so you don’t have to camp out and sleep on the forest floor,” Elliot says pointedly.

“I like the forest,” Serene says. “But this is very nice too,” she adds on when Elliot glares at her. “Very nice for a party celebration.”

“These beds are great,” Golden says.

“The door between the rooms invites unchaste scandal,” Silver says. “How do we know Serene won’t come in to be with Golden in the middle of the night.”

“You can lock the door when we go to sleep,” Luke says. “Serene can stay in this room with me and Elliot. We’ve stayed together lots of time at Bordercamp.”

Silver glances skeptically between Luke and Elliot at that, like he wonders if he cares enough about Luke and Elliot’s purity to argue the point. Elliot doesn’t mention that it's a moot point. From where he’s standing Silver can’t see Golden making eyes at Serene, looking like he wants to complain for an entirely different reason. That’s another thing Silver should absolutely not notice.

So Elliot jumps in with a distraction. “I didn’t know Serene was coming when I booked the rooms.”

“Fine,” Silver says to the group before retreating back into the room the Elven gentlemen have claimed for themselves. Elliot probably isn’t supposed to hear it when Silver mutters. “I still think they’re bad influences, Golden. We should be careful. They’re already talking about how you ran away to be with Serene.”

Elliot wants to jump in with something about how doors work the same way here as they do in the Borderlands, and that he can hear Silver perfectly well with the door open. Silver could think Elliot was a shameless hussy all he wanted, but Golden doesn’t deserve that. But Golden interrupts before Elliot can say anything, flipping through the binder of hotel information on the bedside table. “Hey, are manicure/pedicures the same in this world as in our world?”

“What?” Elliot says.

“The hotel has a spa,” Golden says, reading off some information, “and they do spa manicure/pedicures from 10 to 18:00. Is there enough time for us to do that before whatever you’ve got planned for tonight?”

Elliot takes the borrowed phone out of his pocket and looks at the time. They were supposed to be at a distillery tour a half hour ago. They’ve definitely missed that and Elliot’s dad’s credit card is being charged a no-show fee. But dinner reservations aren’t for another two hours. So, “yeah, we can call down and ask if they have time for us to do that,” Elliot says. “You just pick up the thing on the table there,” Elliot points and Golden picks it up. “You hold it up to your ear,” Golden does and Elliot nods and continues “and press the number it says on the page and you will be able to talk to someone on the other end about if they can take us.”

Golden follows Elliot’s instructions and Elliot listens as Golden has a perfectly normal conversation with the concierge on the other end of the line about taking a party of six for manicures and pedicures right now. 

When the conversation is over, Golden pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at Elliot. 

“You can just put that back down on the receiver,” Elliot tells him.

Golden puts it down and says “they said we can come right down, they have room to take us all right now.

“Umm…” Elliot starts, because he’s never had a mani/pedi and he’s honestly never wanted one, whatever they are. Golden wasn’t really clear on that.

Serene chimes in before Elliot can articulate any of that, although she says it in a particularly elven way. “Isn’t that boyish?” she asks. “No offense meant, but I think I’ll sit this one out.”

“Nope,” Golden says. “It’s my party and I want my trailblazing fiance to come with me.”

“I can stay here and keep Serene company if you are worried about her being left out,” Luke says, spotting an excuse.

“Yeah, me too,” Elliot adds.

“We are all going downstairs right now,” Golden says, getting up. His voice brooks no argument.

“Yes, dear,” Serene says, falling into line. Luke and Elliot have no choice at this point but to follow, so they all troop down to the elevator with the group.

———

So, it turns out that manicures are getting your nails done and pedicures are getting your toes done. It involves sitting in massage chairs while someone rubs your feet in warm water and they are wonderful. Elliot feels like he’s melting. It’s warm and cozy and delightful. He hasn’t been this pleasantly warm since he left for the Borderlands as a kid. There, the weather goes from being too miserably cold in the winter to too sweltering hot in the summer with no enjoyable in between. Indoor heating is a modern wonder. 

Also, they give you champagne.

Luke is sitting next to Elliot with Serene on the other side of Luke. Then it’s Golden, Silver, and Sunflower at the end, gossiping about people Elliot doesn’t know again. Elliot would tell them they are the most enjoyable daytime TV he’s ever half listened to in the background while falling asleep, except then he’d have to explain what daytime TV is.

Seriously, if Luke could just stop squirming and causing a scene next to him, Elliot could fall asleep right where he sits.

He reaches out to put a careful steadying hand to press down on Luke’s wrist, avoiding touching either of their fingers which are covered in a neutral clear polish he’s not sure is dry yet, holding down Luke’s fidgeting hand on the arm rest between them. Luke jumps when Elliot makes contact and then tenses, stilling but unhappily so.

“What’s wrong?” Elliot asks softly.

“I guess I don’t really like strangers touching me,” he says, looking down. Elliot follows where he’s looking to the woman who’s sitting on a low stool rubbing his feet. Elliot doesn’t get it. There’s a woman doing the same to him and it’s amazing, transcendent, heaven.

The woman at Luke’s feet looks back up at them. “Sorry honey,” she says. “You should have said something. I can stop and move on to the polish part.”

“Yes, please,” Luke says, relieved as she puts his feet back down in the basin of water and stops touching him. She picks up the little water spray head and starts rinsing his feet down instead.

“If you don’t like pedicures, what are you doing here?” she asks conversationally.

Luke glances over at Elliot, so Elliot answers. “We’re here for a stag do.”

“Oh,” the woman says, slightly confused sounding but continuing pleasantly along. “That’s nice. Which of you’s getting married?”

“Me,” Serene says from Luke’s other side, “to my darling Golden,” making an aborted motion to grab his hand in elaboration before stopping herself. It’s a good thing; Serene wouldn’t care about messing up her own nails, but Golden would be upset if she ruined his nails. They’re a whole bunch of pink colors in something Golden called ombre, with little rhinestones catching the light in extra decoration on his ring finger. 

She nudges him with her elbow, instead, and Golden turns away from the soap opera conversation to see what she wants.

“Congratulations, on your upcoming wedding” the nail woman says.

“Thank you,” Golden says.

“We don’t usually get stag nights here. It’s usually all giggling women and hen dos. Sometimes we have some gay wedding parties here. That’s okay too.” She looks at where Elliot has his hand wrapped around Luke’s wrist, thumb casually stroking over the back of his hand somehow without Elliot even noticing.

“We’re together,” Elliot says, not wanting this lady to think he’s anything other than proud the somehow against all odds the beautiful, popular Luke is with him. He knows that Luke is more than that, but this lady doesn’t know him well enough to know. “But it’s not our wedding.”

“Anyway, it’s not usually straight guys getting their nails done. It’s nice that you all are secure in your masculinity to do a non-traditional thing. And it feels nice, don’t it.”

“We’re having a very traditional wedding,” Serene says. 

“I’m the only son, so of course my father is going all out. We’ve been to six florists and he’s still not happy with the quality of flowers we can get out of season but the date is the only thing I’m holding firm about. It’s our anniversary,” Golden explains. “He’s very into the wedding planning.”

“Oh?” If it were possible to overdose on confused polite nodding, Elliot would be worried for the manicurist who seems to be at a loss.

But Golden doesn’t need any other prompting to get into wedding planning details. There are a lot of details that don’t seem to have anything to do with Serene and Golden pledging to spend the rest of their life together. Elliot doesn’t really understand why flower arrangements are such a big deal when Golden and Serene are getting married in a garden. Isn’t the arrangement of flowers determined by where they grow out of the ground?

But Silver and Sunflower have thoughts about it and they jump in to discuss Golden’s ongoing saga of whether it’s better to have a string quartet or flute music to walk down the aisle to.

Elliot doesn’t get it. He looks at Luke in confusion, but Luke just looks happy that no one is rubbing his feet anymore or expecting him to participate in the conversation and Elliot is happy to go back to listening and enjoying the indoor, climate-controlled temperature.

———

They have to sit for a while when their toes are done to let the polish dry, but even still they’re done with plenty of time to get to dinner reservations on time. Or, they should be. Elliot didn’t account for how long it would take Golden, Silver, and Sunflower to get changed and fix their hair and makeup.

Serene and therefor Luke and Elliot are related to the other room with the door pointedly locked behind them by Silver. Elliot takes the opportunity to introduce Luke and Serene to TV, which they accept as theater in a box without too much explanation, since Elliot already acclimatized them to minstrels in a box.

Eventually, they really are running late and Elliot goes to bang on the door between them rooms and yells at the guys to hurry up.

When they open the door, they’re all wearing different clothing than they were earlier. Gone are the brown and green forest camouflage Elliot is used to in elven clothing. Instead, they’ve all got on some variation of very skinny black trousers and diaphanous shirts that are more fashion than practical. In deference to the weather, they’ve got coats, but Elliot’s not sure they quite do the trick with lapels that leave a large triangle of neck and chest still bare without scarves. It’s different but not _different_ , and Elliot doesn’t understand why it took that long or why it was that important it involves potentially being late to dinner. 

“You look… good,” Serene says, swallowing her tongue on a missing word there.

Golden preens. “Thank you,” he says fluttering his lashes up to her and coming in close.

“Come on, we’re going to be late,” Elliot says rushing them all down.

The hotel has cars idling outside, so they don’t need to order an uber this time, and they pile in to get whisked away to the restaurant.

Elliot takes care of finding the maître d’ and giving the name for his reservation while everyone else mills about behind him. They are ready for them, and Elliot turns around to tell the rest of the group to follow only to discover that there are four of them, all the elves, behind him. 

“Where did Luke go?” Seriously, that was less than a minute.

“Over there,” Serene says, pointing to the back toward the entrance to the coat room. Where there’s a Christmas tree. Of course.

“You guys follow her,” Elliot says pointing to the maître d’. “I’ll grab him and we’ll be right behind you.”

They shuffle around so Serene is in the lead, and Elliot is in the back, scooting around and between the other waiting parties to sidle up to Luke. “Our table is ready, we have to go sit down,” Elliot says.

“This tree is decorated differently from the other one,” Luke says. And it is. The tree at the hotel was very classic. The restaurant is fancy modern, with a tasting menu worthy of Golden and Serene’s upcoming nuptials, with highly reviewed vegetarian and vegan options for elf palettes. The tree matches the dark wood and modern stone aesthetic of the place. It’s silver-colored, not real, but classy with gold and red icicle ornaments that somehow matches the mirror running along the back of the far wall. “Why?” Luke asks

“Because the restaurant people decided it matched the rest of their decor better. I don’t know. No reason. It doesn’t matter. We have to go, the rest of the group went on without us.”

“I like the one at the hotel better,” Luke says. “Trees aren’t meant to be silver.”

“That’s nice,” Elliot says, having been over this conversation before it even started. “Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Luke says, but he stays their mesmerized by the tree for a moment, only turning to follow Elliot when Elliot tugs on his hand.

The waiter asks them about their get ups and Elliot gives a Lord of the Rings cosplay spiel. He takes the lead in ordering wine for the table, “and keep it coming.” The tasting menu was a good choice, and there are course after course of beautifully seared artichokes and risotto with soft boiled eggs and the creamiest tomato soup in little shot glasses, and in Luke and Elliot’s case steak tartare with these little crackers that fizzled in their mouth while everyone else had black bean emulsion with asparagus. 

They linger over the little fruit tarts and sorbet that comes with their dessert wine which is so good Luke calls it liquid honey and even Silver can’t believe something this good comes from this side of the wall.

“What next?” someone asks.

“Umm.” Elliot hesitates, looking around the group, suddenly realizing that maybe human traditional was the exact wrong idea. “I planned this before I met most of you. This is what people in the otherlands typically do for these parties. So, just pretend it’s a cross-cultural learning opportunity if it’s not your thing. Please.”

The ‘please’ gets a look from Serene and Luke. 

Everyone else doesn’t know enough to be worried yet. 

———

The lights in the strip club cast a red glow over everything as they are lead to the table that Elliot reserved for them. Luke leans in close to Elliot and asks “Are the lights here for Christmas too?”

“No,” Elliot says. “They’re because they’re hot.”

“Do they keep it warm here because those ladies aren’t wearing any clothing.”

“Not that kind of hot. The sexy kind of hot.” It’s filled with other groups like them. Or, well, not like them, but groups of guys for a night out of celebrating. This place came highly recommended for stag nights, so it’s as classy as a place like this gets. Each table has its own hostess, a woman in a bra and knickers to serve drinks and flirt with the guys. And as they walk past the tables that are already full, Elliot is fully convinced the red lights work. The women are hot.

But of course that wouldn’t convince Luke. He’d need to see some guys in this light. It’s too bad he can’t see himself. The red lights make him glow.

“Hi, I’m Crystal.” Their very own hostess pops up to introduce herself as they’re getting seated. “Can I get you gentleman started on some drinks?”

“Tequila shots first,” Elliot say when it’s clear everyone else is still too stunned at where they are to answer. “And you can bring one of whatever’s on tap for everyone for a chaser.”

Crystal bats her eyelashes seductively at Elliot and goes to get their drinks. Elliot distributes the cash he got specifically for this purpose with instructions to give it to the women when they do things for them. Serene’s brow is furrowed and Silver’s expression screams disapproving horrified. But Sunflower’s eyes are the size of dinner plates, interested in taking it all in. Golden is unreadable. 

Serene gets over it first. “I don’t understand this place.”

“It’s for men who want to enjoy looking at naked women,” Elliot starts. “And women-" 

“I get that,” Serene cuts him off. “I know how different things are in the human world, but this seems a step too far. I understand the women being here wanting men and money, but—”

“Don’t these boys have any self-respect?” Silver jumps in. “I know Serene and Golden said things were different, but I didn’t realize the depravity of human male hussies.”

“Drinks,” Crystal says, saving Elliot from trying to explain to Silver why slut-shaming is wrong.

“Luke, give me your hand.” Elliot takes Luke’s hand, not waiting for Luke’s compliance. Explaining how to take tequila shots is a much easier thing to explain, licking Luke’s hand, sprinkling salt on it, licking it up, taking his shot, and biting down on the lime.

“Do I have to lick someone else?” Sunflower asks while Elliot’s still puckering around the lime.

He takes it out of his mouth to answer. “No, you can use your own hand.”

Luke grabs Elliot’s hand. “I’m using you,” Luke says and then after a pause, “as payback.” Elliot sees the one flaw with the red lights, because he can’t see the flush he’s sure is raising on Luke’s skin.

Serene and Golden grab each other. Sunflower and Silver take the shots licking the back of their own hands, everyone raising their shots in a chorus of cheers. Those cheers turn to sour faces as they do the shots. 

Golden is the first one to recover. “That was gross.”

“I’ve got your beers,” Crystal says passing them out.

Golden’s sour face doesn’t recover when he takes a sip. “I think I’ve just learned not to trust Elliot ordering drinks. Can I get something else?”

“Of course you can, hon. What do you like?”

“Fruit punch,” Sunflower says, not even trying his beer.

“Yeah, something sweet,” Golden says.

“I’ll take the beer,” Luke says and Golden passes it over.

“I know just the thing for you sweeties,” Crystal says. “How many new drinks do I need?” All the elves raise their hands. “I’ll be right back with those.”

When Crystal comes back with the fruity drinks for the guys, she’s brought another girl with her. “Hi guys, this is my friend Daisy. Someone ordered a lap dance over here for a stag night? Who’s the lucky gent?”

No one says anything at first. Until finally Golden says, “That’s me. But, um, I don’t think I need whatever a lap dance is.” Golden glances at Serene.

“Hi,” Daisy says. “And who are you?” Daisy is flirty and flipping her hair and Serene looks like she’s in bizarro world, she cannot fathom a woman putting on this type of sexual act for guy’s pleasure. She keeps glancing back and forth between Daisy and the guys like she wants to ask if they’re okay. It might be a fair question where Silver is concerned.

“I’m Serene, his intended.”

“Guys don’t usually bring their fiance's to these things,” Daisy says. “I can do both of you if you want.”

“Luke and Elliot said to invite my friends,” Golden says. “Of course I was going to invite Serene. I wouldn’t be marrying her if she weren’t my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend too,” Serene says earnestly to Golden.

“Aww…” Daisy and Crystal say, looking at Serene and Golden. Luke doesn’t miss the way Silver and Luke look hurt at that declaration of best friend-ness.

“Well, do one of the other one of you want the lap dance, you’ve paid for the stag package. What about you honey?” Daisy asks Luke.

Luke looks like a deer in headlights. “I’m gay,” Luke says, hurried and terrified.

“Okay,” Daisy says.

“I’m bi,” Elliot says, “But I’m with him, so while I can recognize your hotness, I’ll have to pass.”

“Elliot, do I have to pretend I’ve seen this before?” Sunflower whispers. Elliot’s not sure what he’s asking at first, until Elliot remembers his instructions at the wall.

“No,” Elliot whispers back. “You can be as shocked as you want.”

“Then I’ll do it,” Sunflower says, speaking to the full group this time. His voice is more confident than his face which is vaguely terrified.

“Aww, sweetheart,” Crystal says. She puts her hand on his shoulder and Sunflower jumps. She laughs kindly and continues. “No need to be scared of Daisy. Go on up, just remember, no touching.”

Sunflower nods emphatically, like Crystal is imparting nuclear codes to him.

Sunflower gets up to the front where their party as been more or less ignoring the strippers putting on a show. But now they’re watching as Daisy starts a routine that has her writhing on Sunflower. His hands are gripping the chair like it’s harder than he realized it would be not to touch. Elliot shouts his encouragement to Sunflower, and Crystal does the same for Daisy. 

Daisy leans in, the waterfall of her hair obscuring Sunflower. When she leans back, Sunflower unclenches his hands from the chair and takes out the cash Elliot gave him, slipping a bill into the side of Daisy’s thong.

Elliot hoots and hollers, elbowing Luke to join him. 

“Pass me another beer first,” Luke says. It’s only after Elliot’s passed it to him that Elliot realizes Luke’s got a collection of empties in front of him, having finished his own and now all of the elves’. But beer in hand, Luke joins Elliot in cheering. 

Silver looks like he might snap and kill Elliot if Elliot asks him to be happy about this.

Serene and Golden are muttering softly to one another, having migrated closer and closer to one another in their booth. Elliot goes quiet for a moment because he is a nosey eavesdropper, and hears Serene say “Do you want that? I can do that for you if that’s a thing guys like. Although I didn’t think they were that into this type of performative sexuality. It really seems like something women would want more than gentleman.”

“Oh,” Golden says in a teasing voice, “so you’re saying you want me to dance on your lap?”

“I mean,” Serene goes red, “you are the pretty one in this relationship.”

Golden slips onto her lap. “I think I’ll leave my clothing on in public. You’ll just have to use your imagination,” he rolls his body in a sinuous curve pressing into her, “for what I look like that is.”

“Come on, cheer them on,” Elliot says shamelessly interrupting them.

“Go Sunflower,” Golden shouts, and Elliot turns back to the performance.

Luke apparently noticed what Elliot noticed, leaning into Elliot’s shoulder to whisper “I’ve never seen Golden like that.”

“They’re hot together,” Elliot says, because he’s not blind.

“They’re our friends.” Luke looks scandalised.

“Our friends are hot.”

That argument does not make Luke look any less scandalised. “I thought we were supposed to be watching Sunflower.”

They are so Elliot drops it and they watch the rest.

Daisy walks Sunflower back to their table when the song ends. 

“Thank you, you are beautiful,” Sunflower says seriously.

“And you were a perfect gentleman,” Daisy says passing him back to the group, in a seamless, practiced move that has her twirling away and leaves Crystal asking “can I get you some more drinks?”

Luke and Serene with a lap full of Golden take her up on it, the rest of them still nursing their first.

Silver slides away from Sunflower when he sits back down, grumpy and embarrassed. “I think I have to—“ he makes a nod toward the door and shuffles out.

“You shouldn’t wander off by yourself,” Golden says. “Do you want us to go?”

“I’ll be fine,” Silver snaps. 

“No, we can go,” Elliot says, nudging Luke to get up so he can get up from the bench.

“It’s fine,” Golden says, stopping Elliot. “Sometimes Silver’s just like this. He’ll be fine.”

Crystal returns with the drinks, cutting off their debate about following Silver.

“How are you boys doing?” Crystal says. “Anything else I can get you?”

“What’s your last name?” Sunflower asks.

“Why do you want to know?” Crystal drops the drawling, seductive voice she’s has the whole night, for a sharp no-nonsense question.

“I’m Sunflower-Straight-To-The-Sky,” Sunflower says, disarming her worry. “I wanted to know what goes after Crystal. I like it. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman with a boy’s name before.”

“It’s a boy’s name? In what world? Did you grow up in some type of hippie commune?” Crystal asks, slow and sultry again.

“Elliot says to say we’re from Lord of the Rings?” Sunflower glances up at Elliot to make sure he’s getting that right. Elliot nods at him.

“I love those movies,” Crystal says. “Orlando Bloom was hot,” and she gives Golden a look. “But I like him better in Pirates with the dark hair.”

“I don’t know that one,” Sunflower says, laughing like it’s a joke. The joke is that he doesn’t know any pop culture. That he’s a real life elf, and apparently that would do it for these girls but he’s being good and not giving any of that away.

Elliot jumps in to save Sunflower from any more lies. “We know each other from boarding school,” he says. “That’s almost like being from hippies. No pop culture there, but I was into all those things from before I went so I dragged them along.”

“Boarding school? So maybe I should be asking about Harry Potter?” Crystal jokes.

“Nah, it’s more like a Narnia boarding school,” Elliot says.

“I don’t remember a boarding school in that one,” Crystal says. “Just a giant talking Lion.”

“I totally read those as a kid too,” Elliot says. “I was so disappointed to discover that Aslan was just Jesus’s fursona.”

“He was what?” Crystal asks.

“Jesus like Christmas,” Luke jumps in. It’s sort of an asinine comment but he looks so proud of knowing something.

“Oh yeah,” Crystal says, “Are you guys excited for Christmas?”

And the conversation devolves into talking about holiday plans, the holiday shopping and all the gifts they have left to buy, and what plans their families have. Until they’re all declining more drinks or dances which means Crystal’s time with them is over.

Thankfully they find Silver sulking by the coat room, the only dark note in what is a surprisingly surprising good night. Elliot should have realized this group wouldn’t be into strippers, but the drinks have kept everyone loose and happy. Elliot pull out the phone to get an Uber.

———

“Since it’s still early, who wants to raid the minibar and play drinking games?” Elliot asks.

“Ooh, yes,” Sunflower says, gathering all the little bottles from the fridge in their room and bringing them through to where Elliot is doing the same in his room. 

“I’m in,” Golden says.

“If Golden is in, then I’m in,” Serene says.

“I guess,” Silver says. He does not look happy to be in.

Luke doesn’t verbally agree, but when Elliot hands the bottle over, Luke takes it and joins everyone else sitting cross-legged in a circle on the floor. 

“So, what are we playing?” Elliot asks. “I think Spin the Bottle is out for obvious reasons.” Elliot gestures to Serene and Golden, and then to him and Luke.

“What about Never Have I Ever?” Sunflower asks.

“I can’t believe they have the same drinking games on both sides of the wall,” Elliot says. Elliot turns to where Luke is sitting next to him and says “you should hurry up and win all the wars so I can spend more time on cross-wall cultural drift.”

“That is definitely why I’m trying to win.” Elliot doesn’t understand how people don’t realize Luke is a sarcastic little shit. It’s one of Elliot’s favorite things about him.

Serene asks how to play, and seriously there’s a thesis to be done on cultural drift right there. It would make sense for Bordercamp students to be the most knowledgeable about things that came from the otherlands. But it’s the guys from finishing school who are tripping over each other to explain the drinking game. Elliot doesn’t know anyone in this world who went to finishing school, but Elliot thinks the most accurate Borderlands to otherlands translation might actually be a sorority.

Golden is nominated to go first since it’s his party after all, and he starts with an everyone drinks “never have I ever been to the otherlands.”

It’s always a slow game to start, with people slow to go for each other’s secrets. Silver has a “never have I ever punched my cousin,” which Golden, Serene and Luke drink at.

“I was four,” Golden explains, glaring at Silver. 

“I was defending my honor,” Serene says and no one asks for more details.

Luke doesn’t offer anything, but that doesn’t stop Elliot from asking “Please tell me it was Adam? Please, please, please?”

“Of course it was Adam. You were there.” Luke looks sideways at Elliot like he’s an idiot, like this is something Elliot already knows.

“I think I’d remember being there for that,” Elliot says.

“Not there when I punched him,” Luke says, “but staying at our house. He had that black eye.”

“That was you?”

“He tried to kiss you,” Luke says like it was nothing.

Elliot can’t believe he didn’t know about that. “Culaine already saved me from that.”

“It wasn’t right.”

“Aww.” Elliot leans over to kiss him because he may be against violence as a blanket category, but he’s not against Luke defending his honor. 

But by the second time around, all bets are off. Golden smiles sweetly at Serene when he says “never have I ever slept with a guy.”

Luke, Elliot and Serene all drink. Silver’s judge-y look couldn’t be louder if he shouted it. Serene looks at Golden unhappy to be picked on. Golden grins back guilelessly and Serene thinks better than targeting him. Instead she goes right for Elliot with “never have I ever drugged a military leader.” 

“You make that sound so much worse than it was,” Elliot says taking a drink.

“So you didn’t drug a military leader?” Luke seems overly concerned with something that happened a very long time ago.

“It was just a little brandy,” Elliot says. “It’s not like I killed anyone. I saved people. I stopped the battle.”

“Don’t do it again,” Luke elbows him as he says it, like mild physical violence will win with him an argument with Elliot. He should know better by now. 

“Come on, it’s your turn,” Elliot prompts Luke instead without promising anything. He likes to think he’s gotten better at diplomacy since then, or at getting people to do what he wants, which is basically what diplomacy is. But he doesn’t want to promise away any tactics just in case he needs it again.

“Fine,” Luke says, and this time Elliot knows Luke caught his evasion because Luke gets an evil grin on his face before he goes. “Never have I ever played Red-Rose in _Radiant and Jewel_.”

Elliot guesses everyone decided he’s getting drunk tonight. He raises his glass in cheers to himself and drinks.

The elves seem to think this is way more interesting than Elliot does? “You did?” Golden asks, grinning evilly. “That is amazing.”

“Who played Radiant-Blade?” Sunflower asks.

“Who cares, who played Jewel?” Silver says, the three of them tripping over one another.

“Yeah, yeah, I got to play the evil floozy while Luke was the fair maiden.”

“That is too perfect.”

“If the shoe fits,” Silver says and it doesn’t sound like a joke.

“Be nice.” Sunflower elbows him. Elliot ignores them.

“Oi assholes,” Elliot says, raising his drink in another cheers to Serene and Luke. “Never have I ever had a sword sister.” Turnabout is fair play.

“Good one,” Golden says, leaning forward to high-five Elliot across the circle while Serene and Luke drink.

Sunflower has some never-has-he-ever story about sneaking out of finishing school which Golden and Silver both drink to.

“Never have I ever had sex with a woman,” Silver says with a sneer at Elliot. And it’s one thing when Serene and Luke good-naturedly target him, but there’s nothing good-natured about Silver.

Elliot drinks, obviously, and everyone watches him.

Elliot is looking back at Golden, wondering if he’s going to lie. But Golden seems to take drinking game honestly seriously, glancing to his side at Serene, and lifting his glass. But as soon as he moves, all eyes are on him.

“You slept with Golden?” Luke says to Serene.

But Luke’s question is drowned out by Silver shrieking “you slept with Serene?” to Golden.

“Umm…” Golden says. But it’s obvious what the answer is. Elliot’s kind of surprised everyone else didn’t know. Elliot knew enough from his letters with Swift to know not to ask, but Golden already ran away to be with Serene and couldn’t immediately go home. At that point, why wouldn’t they have sex.

Silver obviously did not share Elliot’s reasoning. “I thought the dads were being unreasonable when they didn’t want you to come home? I told them there’s no way you would do anything to ruin yourself.”

“Golden isn’t ruined,” Serene’s overprotective streak has her defending him.

“I can fight my own battles,” Golden says. And then he repeats “I’m not ruined. We’re getting _married_.”

“But you’re not yet,” Silver spits, leaning forward.

“Who cares,” Golden counters, throwing up his hands. 

“Everyone,” Silver says, saying the unfortunate truth. “Everyone cares. Do you even know the shit they were saying about you at home?”

“I don’t care,” Golden says. “And you shouldn’t either. I thought you were my friend. But, you hated it ever since I started seeing Serene. You were jealous I was getting letters from her and you were jealous that we’re dating and now you’re jealous that we’re getting married.”

“I’m not jealous,” Silver says. “But I do hate it. Yeah, because she’s turned you into a different person. You ran off to fight in a war. Your dad was distraught. And now you’re sleeping with her. You used to be a good person.”

“I’m still the same person!” Golden shouts throwing up his hands. “Maybe I’m just sick of following a bunch of stupid fake rules.”

Everyone else has gone silent while Golden and Silver lean into the circle, shouting terrible things at one another. Elliot has changed his mind about them being entertaining. They should stop, please, be boring and drama-free. But Silver just continues. “So then maybe I never liked you. Gosh, it’s all why aren’t you brave or interesting like that Golden. He’s so pretty and he went out and got himself a wife and you’re still here sad and alone and he’s two years younger than you. I do everything right and no one cares or notices it’s not fair.”

“Are you kidding me?!? All I hear is why can’t I be more like that Silver, he’s such a good boy. He never gives his father grief. And, you cannot be mad at my looks. I am not the pretty one, people keep thinking we’re twins.”

“I don’t want people to think we’re twins. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a slut too.” And Silver ends the argument by getting up and storming into the other room. He slams the door behind him and it echoes in the resulting silence.

Eventually, Sunflower breaks the silence, standing too. “Umm.. I’m going to make sure he’s okay.”

“Let me go,” Golden says, eyes gleaming with tears that haven’t fallen yet.

“No, really just give him time, it will be okay,” Sunflower says, and when he slips the door to the other room open and closes it behind him he does it silently.

“Are you okay?” Serene asks, turning to Golden.

It’s like flicking a switch and suddenly Golden’s face crumples and the tears are streaming down his face. Elliot’s not sure whether Golden or Serene moves first, but Golden is wrapped in Serene’s arms sobbing into her shoulder. “I… why would he say those things?”

“Shh, shh,” Serene mumbles rubbing his back. She says a soft “I love you,” and Elliot feels like they shouldn’t be watching anymore.

“Good going Elliot,” Luke says.

“What did I do?”

———

They meet for a late brunch the next morning, and everyone is on their very best finishing school behavior. If he didn’t know there was a screaming, crying drag-down fight last night, he’d never know from how everyone is acting. Everyone is polite and distant and sniping at each other even less than when they first set out. Luke, Serene, and Golden are all hidden behind giant sunglasses. Golden explains that he got them from the gift shop in the lobby and charged them to the room. But they could be hiding hangovers as much as anything else. 

No one seems mad but no one seems too excited this morning, although they all perk up with the application of food.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Golden says, an even smile forced on his face.

Elliot had planned a boat tour, and the group evenly politely agrees that sounds fun.

This was a terrible idea. They’ve splintered into groups with Serene and Golden mostly talking to one another and Sunflower taking responsibility for keeping Silver engaged. Everyone is making benign pleasantries. But the no one seems into the proceedings and Elliot doesn’t know what to do to fix it. He’s not good at interpersonal shit when it’s his own shit. He has even less of an idea what to do when it’s someone else’s. He can stop a war and broker peace but he can’t fix a friendship when there’s no territories and natural resources to barter with, just feelings and cultural norms which are a comfortable weighted blanket for some and a crushing chafing weight for others.

Why did he think this was a good idea? Sure, the scenery is nice, and Elliot wanted to show everyone the best of this world. No one thinks suburban sprawl and strip malls are the thing to take visitors to see. But the most beautiful lake and the prettiest wooded hillside is nothing compared to the forests and mountains and seasides of the Borderlands. The lake is just water when Elliot thinks about how at home he could be talking to mermaids. Plus, on the boat they are trapped there, no ability to leave early from the middle of the lake until, finally, eventually sailing is over.

This time it’s Sunflower that asks what’s next. And honestly, Elliot is ready to put this whole thing behind him and go home. Or if they’re going to be here, do something as different from home as can be. And no one looks like they are up for more drinking yet. So he tries to think about what Golden might like. “What about we go shopping?” he asks. “We can wear clothing from this side of the wall for tonight's adventure. It could be like a costume party,” he says, really trying to sell it.

He doesn’t need to try that hard. “Yes!” Golden says.

“And everyone’s going to be so jealous of our other-side-of-the-wall clothes when we go back,” says Sunflower.

“I guess,” Silver says, which at this point is a ringing endorsement.

“Do I have to?” Luke asks.

“Yes,” Elliot tells him.

———

They head off to the shopping centre. Golden takes the lead, taking them straight to Debenhams like he’s a teenager from an 80s movie who hangs out in the mall every weekend rather than someone who’s never been to one before in his life. But the guys are clearly in their element. They split like it’s a synchronized move, loading their arms up with clothing to try on as Elliot, Luke and Serene, trail behind them.

By the time they make it to the fitting room they’re collected clothing from every concession across the store to try on, all of them with well over the six item allowance. So Serene, Luke, and Elliot are left with the overflow. Elliot mostly knows this type of shopping from the movies, which are lying liars who lie, because Elliot wouldn’t mind being in a shopping makeover montage, but the real thing is infinitely slower and more tedious. Golden will come out in an outfit and stand in front of the mirror for ages debating whether or not he likes it, does it make him look good, what about from behind, while Sunflower and Silver and Serene go on and on about how great he looks. And Elliot’s pretty sure only Serene is being completely honest, but honesty doesn’t account for much in this case because Serene would think Golden looks perfect in anything. But the fawning from the other guys doesn’t change when Golden’s turn at the mirror is over and Silver takes his place and then Sunflower, until they go back and do it all over again with the next set of outfits.

Elliot’s glad no one asks his opinion about clothing, because he’s many years out of date in otherworld fashion, but he’s pretty sure at least half of what the guys are trying on is from the junior’s ladies department. Golden seems really into some wet-look leggings, even more so than the general effusiveness everyone is about every outfit. 

The sales associate seems confused.

Golden and Silver go back to change out of their wrapped-bodice jumpsuit and off-the-shoulder oversized sweater respectively to try on their next outfits while Sunflower lingers and the sales associate wanders through for the third time asking if there’s anything she can do for them, Sunflower asks what she thinks of the outfit he’s wearing. The outfit he’s wearing is a golden metallic pleated midi-skirt and a purple crop-top.

“It’s very Ezra Miller,” the salesperson says.

“Thanks,” Sunflower says, smiling, even though Elliot knows he has no idea who that is. Sunflower is really winning this pretending to know what otherlanders are talking about thing.

“I am so bored,” Luke complains when Sunflower goes back to the fitting rooms too.

“We can get you new clothes too,” Elliot says. Luke looks worried. That was not what he was complaining for. But now that Elliot mentions it, that sounds like a great idea to him. Luke is beautiful. He wears clothing almost as well as he wears nothing at all. And Elliot wants to see him dressed up. “Come on,” Elliot says, decision made. “Serene, we’re gonna go get some new clothes too. Are you okay without us?”

“Sure,” Serene says, distracted by Golden emerging in his next outfit of skinny jeans and a floral blazer.

Elliot takes Luke to get a suit. This was maybe a mistake because Luke doesn’t need help looking any hotter. But in a suit he looks like an old Hollywood star, the prototypical hot, when suddenly the whole world could go into a cinema and fall in love with the same beautiful man on screen. 

Luke ruins it by speaking and Elliot doesn’t even mind because no one should be that perfect. “Are we done yet? I don’t want to try on any more. People are looking at me.”

“Yes, we’re done. Let’s get that one,” Elliot says. 

They go to find the rest of the group, who have finished in the fitting rooms and have discovered the makeup counter. A women is explaining something about contours while doing something to Golden’s face.

“I don’t need makeup too, do I?” Luke asks.

“No, you can skip this part,” Elliot tells him.

“Great,” Luke says, distracted by something outside the glass entrance of the store. “I think I saw a Christmas tree I want to go check out.”

“Not this again,” Elliot groans. “I can’t believe you’re so into the stupid things.”

“You could have just said you didn’t want to come, okay, bye.” And like that Luke’s gone.

Elliot rolls his eyes, pissed at Luke for leaving without him and for being into the stupid trees. It’s not like Elliot wanted to go look at the tree. But it’s not like Elliot needs to stay here and watch Golden get a makeover.. They could have gone off together. And then Elliot is low-key pissed at Luke for picking this fight. Or maybe himself for picking this fight. And then he’s pissed at not knowing who’s fault it is.

He decides he doesn’t need to stand there bored even if he doesn’t have Luke to keep him company. He can use some new jeans and maybe a less ratty hoodie. Life in the wilderness without electricity to run washing machines is hard on clothing and he’s had to resort to wearing Borderlands clothing even on his off time because his last remaining otherlands clothing has gotten so beaten up and threadbare. So, shopping. He can buy some new contraband clothing for Luke to needle him about later. He let’s Serene know where he’s going and does just that.

———

Dinner is more surface polite nothing. Conversation is stilted and awkward but at least the food’s good. 

Shopping took a fraction of his concentration, so he split his time trying to come up with something that would bring this party around. And he thinks he’s got it. “One sec,” he tells the group as they’re putting on their coats to pull out his phone to google the closest karaoke bar.

The restaurant they’re at is in the same downtown area as the bar, so they decide to walk. Luke has his arm linked in Elliot’s at they make their way out of the restaurant and Elliot only has to tug a little bit to keep Luke from wandering over to stare at every Christmas tree in a window that they pass. 

Serene and Golden are similarly hand-holding while Silver and Sunflower take the lead, even though it means Elliot is constantly shouting at them to stop, they’re going the wrong way, as he checks their progress against his phone.

Golden and Silver were excited about more singing when Elliot explained what karaoke was, especially since he told them the words would be on screen for them so they don’t need to wait for the second chorus to join in and show off their skills. Elliot hopes they’ll enjoy singing together, but if all he’s able to do is move a friendship-ending fight to a new, musical battle-ground, he’ll take what he can get.

Finally, they get to where they are going and Elliot directs them to stop and head down a flight of stairs to the Karaoke bar in the bottom floor of a building festooned with fairy lights. Elliot’s not sure if they’re there for Christmas decoration or an ever-present beacon of karaoke delight.

Inside, they make their way to the bar, and Elliot is happy that it’s too crowded down here to lose Luke to a Christmas tree setup. Instead, he drags them all to the bar for a round of drinks and the book of available karaoke songs.

Drinks are easier ordered than songs and the bartender is passing them over when Silver asks “how do we know which songs are good to sing?”

“You can ask me,” Elliot says. “The songs from the car yesterday were ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’, ‘Born to Run’, and ‘Don’t Stop Believin’, if you want one of those. Or you can look them up on my phone,” Elliot says, pulling it out of his pocket.

“Great,” Golden says, grabbing the phone from Elliot’s hand before Silver can. “How do I do that?” he asks, and Elliot leans closer to how Golden how to google something and load a youtube video.

Elliot, Golden, Silver, and Sunflower request a handful of karaoke songs to be added to the queue that way. Luke, less interested in the singing options, is deep in conversation with the bartender about something. Luke gestures at something behind the bar, and oh, there’s a little, fake, desktop tree on the counter amongst the bottles there.

“Elliot,” Luke shouts to be heard over the sound of a group of women singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ (breaking out the big guns early in the evening) on the karaoke stage. “Did you know they make little trees for places where big ones don’t fit?”

Sunflower’s name is called and he gets up there for a rousing rendition of Katy Perry’s ‘Teenage Dream’. The rest of them, meaning Silver, Golden, and Elliot move to the front to cheer him on. Golden’s is called next. He sings ‘Don’t Stop Me Now.’ Elliot is impressed with how well they’ve chosen songs seeing as they don’t know any of them. Serene joins them to cheer on her beloved. Then Silver sings ‘Like a Prayer’ which garners cheers from the bar, but it’s hard to beat a well-performed Queen song. 

Elliot’s not the best singer of their group, but he hams it up to ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’. Which leads to a lot of questions about what Elliot’s not going to take. Golden makes Serene sing a duet with him. The next person called isn’t from their group and they make their way back to the bar to request more songs.

Elliot hears the familiar “iIIIIiiiiIIIii~~~” coming from the stage and knows what’s coming. That doesn’t explain the hush that falls over the rest of their group who are unfamiliar with the song.

The guy stop looking at the karaoke book and listen with rapt attention. “What is this?”

“Mariah Carey,” Elliot answers, “‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’” and they immediately start flipping the alphabetical book to the ‘Cs.’ 

Elliot has a bad feeling about this. But he’s distracted by Luke tugging on his arm and saying “the tree isn’t real! It’s made out of plastic.”

“Okay?” Elliot is not impressed by this.

“That’s the same stuff your pens are made of. And the minstrels in a box.”

“Yup.”

“Fine, be like that,” Luke says.

Elliot doesn’t know what he’s being like, but he’s not planning to change, so sure, fine, whatever.

There’s a bunch of people and songs called for people who aren’t in their group and Elliot gets caught up in a conversation with Silver about how electricity also powers the speakers in the bar. And Elliot is feeling pretty good about having saved the weekend because everyone looks to be having a good time.

The announcer calls ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ and Elliot looks at Golden and Silver, because he knew they were requesting it, even though once is more than enough in a night. But it’s not someone in their group. It’s someone not in their group.

And then it’s called again. This time it is Silver taking the part of the noted songstress. His singing is notably better than the last girl, really giving it his all on Mariah Carey’s vocal runs. Elliot claps and cheers obligingly, while cringing internally. great voice, doing vocal runs, etc.)

And then it’s called again, the DJ making a joke about an ‘All I Want for Christmas-Off.’ Oh god, not again. You’d think the DJ would be responsible for not letting this happen.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” The guy behind them at the bar clearly agrees.

And this time it’s Golden singing. Despite being sick of the song, Elliot cheers Golden on. It’s his party after all, and if he wants to sing about not wanting a lot for a holiday he’s doesn’t really get, he can sing his heart out. And boy can Golden sing, once again out-singing his predecessor. His runs are pure vocal gymnastics, like Simone Biles of high notes runs. 

They all whoop and clap, holler their encouragements. Serene hams it up when Golden points at her during the ‘all I want part’ as though he’d seen Love Actually. Even Silver claps along, although he doesn’t look happy to be out-sung. 

Serene pushes her way toward the stage at Golden’s mid-performance beckoning, and Sunflower, who appears to have discovered the camera feature on Elliot’s stolen phone follows along. 

This leaves Silver, Elliot, and Luke to hold down the fort at the bar. With half their party at the stage, it goes from unbearably loud to normal bar-loud where without their full group shouting like Elliot usually only hears when he’s forced to watch Luke win at Trigon. So they can hear the guy behind him has only gotten more belligerent since Golden started. Elliot considers this. He should say something. Or they can go follow Serene and the group away from him, and Elliot can not ruin the party with his words. That sounds like a good idea. Defending their bar stools isn’t worth it.

Except Silver doesn’t get the memo. “Excuse me,” he says turning around to face the guy. “What did you say?

“I said, you and your fucking fairy friends should get a beating for this fucking shit.”

“We’re elves,” Silver says. “Like in Lord of the Rings.” Silver is not as good at lying as Sunflower.

“You’re a ren-faire freak show and they shouldn’t let guys like you in here.”

“Come on Silver, let it go,” Elliot says, grabbing Silver by the elbow. “It’s not worth it.” And then, “excuse me,” Elliot says mindlessly trying to move them away from the crowd around the bar.

The guy very pointedly does not move. In fact, he steps directly into their path. “You’re not excused.”

“Seriously? Do you mind?” Elliot says.

“Hey, everyone’s just trying to have a good time here,” Elliot says placatingly. “Getting thrown out for harassing someone just trying to have a good time isn’t going to go well for you.” Or well, it’s as placating as he gets.

“Fuck you and your fucking Christmas songs,” the guy says. “Guys like you wish you were girl enough to sing that song.”

“Hey!” Silver says, offended on behalf of Golden’s singing.

“Definitely not my Christmas songs,” Elliot says. On stage Golden is doing the big finale. “And hey, it’s just about over. I’m sure there’s something else coming up next.”

But neither Silver nor the guy are paying any attention to him. Now that it’s a matter of honor, neither of them are willing to back down.

The song is definitely over now, and Golden is bowing to the applause of the crowd. Serene only has eyes for Golden, but Sunflower notices Elliot glancing desperately over at them. Sunflower taps her on the shoulder, pointing back at them, and Serene starts making her toward them.

She cuts through the crowd easily, neatly stepping between Silver and the guy. She throws her shoulders back standing at her full height and says “is there a problem here?”

The guy sneers. “Are you gonna let a girl fight your battles.”

“Who else would?” Serene asks. “I don’t like to hit gentlemen, but you’re certainly not one.”

“I can help,” Luke says from behind Elliot’s shoulder where he had been staying out of it. Elliot doesn’t know whether to be thankful for that or not. He’s spent years telling Luke how much he doesn’t like him fighting. But it smarts a little that Elliot and Silver about to be in a bar fight doesn’t rate, but the second his shield-sister gets involved Luke is ready to jump in.

What Elliot doesn’t account for is Golden, who rejoins the group after resounding applause and cheers for his singing. “What’s going on here?”

“You and your terrible face and your terrible singing,” the guy sneers.

Golden doesn’t respond with words. Instead, he throws the first punch. 

The guy clearly wasn’t expecting it, staggering a step back, before getting it together enough to bring his fist up and take a swing. Golden dodges, swaying sideways, the guy’s fist which was aiming for his nose glances off the side of his cheek. Golden shouts “fuck,” at the same time Serene screams “your face.”

Serene is already moving to get between Golden and the guy. The other guy’s friends are there now too. “Let’s get out of here,” Elliot shouts, and this time, finally, they listen to him, the crowd parting to let them through to the door. 

 

Once they’re outside, they can move quicker along the relatively empty sidewalk of a cold winter night, and their group makes a stumbling run down the street.

Elliot trips to a stop once they’re a couple of blocks away and everyone else comes to a halt with him.

“Why did you do that?” Silver asks Golden, panting to catch his breath from their running exit.

“I wasn’t going to let him hurt you.” Golden sounds like that should go without saying.

“Why?” Silver says. “You don’t even like me.”

“Of course I like you,” Golden says. “You’re the one that doesn’t like me.”

“Of course I like you. I love you. We’re family,” Silver says voice cracking and then suddenly he’s standing there crying, thready and hiccuping and he continues. “But you left. You ran off to be with Serene and you didn’t even tell me and then I said all those horrible things yesterday. And now you’re hurt and you should have just let him punch me.” 

“I- no-” Golden can’t quite find his words.

“I’m so sorry,” Silver sobs. “Will you forgive me?”

“Of course. You said it yourself. We’re family, you can’t get rid of me even if you try,” and now Golden is crying too, reaching out to pull Silver into a hug. “I’m sorry too.”

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Silver says.

“Maybe punching that guy?” Golden says, sniffling as he pulls away.

They had all been watching in various levels of discomfort, Elliot because he once again felt like he was intruding on a personal moment. In Serene’s case, Elliot’s pretty sure it’s because of all the emotions on display. But now that it seems like it’s wrapping up, she jumps in. “You didn’t have to punch him. I had him.” 

“Thank you,” Silver says softly to Golden before he steps away to let Serene crowd Golden. Then louder to Serene “you better take good care of him.”

“I will,” Serene says. She takes Golden’s face in her hands. “Your face is so pretty. You should be careful not to damage it. Does it hurt?” She runs her hand gently against where a bruise is rising on his cheek.

Golden barely suppresses a wince. 

“Let me kiss it better,” Serene says.

“Is hanging out with you always like this?” Sunflower asks Elliot. The question contains way too much barely contained glee for Elliot’s comfort.

“I’m the pacifist one,” Elliot says, dejectedly. “I don’t like fighting.”

“Everyone is going to be so jealous they weren’t here to see this,” Sunflower says. Elliot regrets that that is probably true. 

They weren’t headed in any particular direction when they took off from the bar, so Elliot looks up where they are on his phone and they’re close enough that they should probably just walk back to the hotel. It’s not worth the questions a driver is going to have about the tear-stained faces and developing bruise on Golden’s face to call a car.

———

Elliot gets their ragtag bunch back to their rooms at the hotel and takes a closer look at Golden’s face. “I’ll go get some ice for that.” And then he looks at Golden’s hand. “And for your hand.” 

“Thanks,” Golden says. 

When Elliot returns with the ice, the elven guy room is all downing their water per his instructions. “Here you go.” Elliot hands over the ice.

He looks around their group. In stark contrast of the previous night the door is open between the two rooms. Silver sitting on the bed in the Elliot-Serene-Luke room on one side of Golden holding the ice against his bruising knuckles, while Serene sits on the other side of Golden, holding the ice to his face.

But someone’s missing. “Where’s Luke?”

Serene is pulled from her Golden reverie to look aground, unsure. “He was just here a second ago.”

“Well, he’s not here now.” So Elliot hauls himself up and goes to figure out where Luke has stomped off to, hopefully not getting himself lost or killed or exposed in a strange foreign world.

Elliot asks the concierge if he saw where the hot, tall blonde guy went off to.

“He asked if there where any Christmas trees around here,” the concierge tells Elliot.

“Of course he did.” Elliot is equal parts pissed and unsurprised.

“So I wrote out instructions on how to get to the Christmas market.”

“Great,” Elliot rolls his eyes. “Do you think you can write up instructions for me too?”

———

Elliot walks to the market, looking around for Luke.

Elliot hears a ears a voice from up above. “I thought you said only indoor trees have lights,” Luke shouts from above.

Luke has taken off his suit jacket, rolled up his shirt sleeves even though it’s chillingly cold out. Elliot can’t see what Luke’s done to the back of his shirt but he’s cut it or ripped holes or something to let his wings out. Of course he has to have to get that high up in the tree. He’s the angel sitting on the top of the tree in some sort of holiday fantasy movie that’s a joint venture between Hallmark and Pornhub.

It just makes Elliot angrier. “What are you doing up there, loser?”

“I wanted to see what it was like in one of these trees. And how they got the lights in the big outdoor tree. They’re connected to a wire string.”

“You can’t be up there,” Elliot shouts up at Luke. “And the wire string only controls the lights if you have electricity running through it.”

“There’s lightning in the string?”

Trust Luke to focus on the part of Elliot’s shouting that is not at all the important part. “Get down from there.”

Elliot can’t see the details of Luke’s face from this far away in the dark, only illuminated in blinking, glowing colors from the Christmas tree lights. But he knows Luke’s face well enough to know the mulish look he’s wearing when he shouts down “No.”

“Why are you so into this stupid holiday anyway. I don’t celebrate it. Heck, you don’t celebrate it, so at this point you’re just doing it to piss me off.”

“Of course you celebrate it. You got Serene that book in third year. And you got my mom that brooch last year. And Swift that embroidery sampler that year we were stationed with the elves because of the troll threat.”

“We were there for peace talks,” Elliot shouts. “And that’s not the point. Christmas doesn’t mean anything in the Borderlands. So yeah, presents are great. It’s different here.”

Elliot is beginning to realize he should have listened to Luke. Not about the trees. Luke is wrong about the trees. But about this whole weekend party excursion. There was a reason he left this land. And it was only a little bit about wanting to meet mermaids. It was a larger amount about Luke and Serene and all of the people he loves being in the Borderlands. But it was also about how much he doesn’t fit on this side of the wall. It’s about how yeah, his dad didn’t want him, and his classmates didn’t like him, but even bigger than that, the whole of society was designed to say you are different. You don’t belong here. And for all he’s different on the other side of the wall, it’s not systemic like this. He stands out there because of things he chose, choices he makes, things he chooses to be.

Luke shouts something about it being exactly the same. Elliot hasn’t gotten him a present either way. He’s throwing this whole stupid party for Serene.

“It’s for Golden.”

“You barely even know him.”

“We’ve only been stationed with him and Serene for like half of the last two years,” Elliot says.

“Exactly,” Luke says. “You’ve only known him for less than two years and you’re already throwing him a party. And Serene is always running off to do Elf things with him and I don’t have anyone.”

“That is so stupid I can’t even dignify that with an answer,” Elliot shouts. Everyone loves Luke. It is not even in a general beloved son and distinguished military leader way. Despite current frustrations, Luke is Elliot’s heart and Serene’s sister and they would be lost without him.

This requires being closer to convey just how wrong Luke is being. “Stay there, I’m coming up.” Elliot gets close enough to the base of the tree that Luke is obscured by the it when Elliot looks up. He’s looking for a handhold, but it turns out Christmas trees are not made for climbing. The branches on the outside don’t look sturdy enough to support the weight of a person, and the branches are too dense to get to the inside. When he reaches in to push some of the branches out of the way, the needles of the tree are sharp and scrape at his hands. 

There has to be a better way. Elliot looks around, stepping away from the base of the tree. “Stay there,” he shouts again to Luke. There’s a ladder behind some plastic barricades that separate the public viewing side of the tree from the maintenance equipment. If they Christmas market people didn’t want him to use it, they would have locked it up better. Elliot ducks behind it and drags the ladder out next to the tree. He starts climbing. 

“Uh, Elliot,” Luke says.

“Shut up,” Elliot says, glaring up at him.

“Elliot,” Luke says again.

“What?” Elliot snaps.

But Luke doesn’t have a chance to answer before someone behind him shouts “oi, what are you doing up there?”

Elliot whips his head around, almost unbalancing, before catching himself. There are two policemen at the other end of the tree plaza moving quickly toward him. He swings back around to look up at Luke, thoughts racing. This is going to be bad enough with him getting caught. Luke has his wings out. Even if he put them away, he’s in the tree. There’s no way for Luke to get down if he puts them away, and no way to explain how he got up there. Luke has put himself in front of the line of fire for Elliot tons of times. It’s Elliot’s turn now.

“Luke, get out of here,” Elliot shouts up at him him.

“You said not to move,” Luke says.

“Now is not the time to start listening to me,” Elliot says. “Just go, I’ll be fine.” The policemen are closing on them and they can’t see Luke. Elliot needs him to leave. “Please.” And Luke does. He goes, spreads his wings, taking off, leaving Elliot stranded. He takes a deep breath and descends the ladder, ready to face his due.

He’s stepping down onto the bottom rung when the policemen get there.

“You’re not supposed to be up there,” the first one says. Elliot takes the final step down and turns around to look at them. The shorter one, the one that said that, is looking at him suspiciously. 

The taller policeman is squinting up at the tree. He says “where’s the other guy?”

“What other guy?” Elliot says, heart speeding up in his chest despite knowing Luke is long gone and they’re not going to catch them.

“There was someone else up there,” he says.

“No there wasn’t,” Elliot says.

“I know what I saw,” the taller policeman says.

“Maybe you were just confused,” Elliot says in his most placating, simpering to the lady elves voice. “It’s dark and the lights on the tree are blinking on and off. It’s not the best light for seeing.”

This has the desired effect of making the policeman stop scrutinizing the top of tree where Luke was perched. It has the unintended effect that now the policeman is glaring suspiciously at Elliot.

“What were you doing up there?” the shorter one says. Elliot can’t tell whether he believes him or if he just doesn’t care, choosing to focus on the rabble-rousing guy they did catch.

Elliot thinking on his feet runs with the lights thing. “There was a light out. I was fixing it.”

“I don’t see no light out.”

“Because I fixed it.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No,” Elliot says. He leans in closer sniffing at Elliot. It’s incredibly disconcerting to be sniffed at by a policeman. “I mean,” Elliot says, not knowing what they can smell on him, “I was drinking, but I’m not drunk. My friends and I were having drinks. Serene is getting married. We were celebrating.”

“I don’t see any friends.”

“No, I left them at the hotel,” Elliot says.

“So you could steal a ladder?”

“I didn’t steal it. It’s still right here in the market where it belongs. At the very most I borrowed it.” 

“You’re hiding something,” the shorter policeman says. 

Elliot is maybe out of the habit of convincing people of things. He knows how to talk to Elves and Harpies and Mermaids, but his human maneuvering is out of practice. He knew Commander Woodsinger like him more than she let on, but he didn’t realize just how little persuading she took until just right now. “No, I’m not,” Elliot tries, pathetically.

But the policemen are not buying it. “So if we let you go with a warning you’d leave the tree alone and just go back to the hotel where your friends are,” the taller policeman says.

“This one is mischief. I don’t trust him,” the shorter one says.

“You should. I’m very trustworthy.” Elliot says.

“You think we should take him back to the station?”

“Yeah, he can call his ‘friends’ to come get him.” 

Elliot can hear the finger quotes in the policeman’s voice. “Why are you saying it like that? I have friends,” Elliot says, maybe too offended.

Because the shorter one just says “yeah, let’s get him out of here.”

Which is how Elliot gets a ride to the police station with PC Vaughan and PC Henderson.

Back at the station, true to their word, they have him call his friends. Elliot calls the hotel and has the overnight front desk worker connect him to their room. When the phone stops ringing and someone picks up it’s a very groggy Golden on the other end of the line saying “what?”

Elliot is suddenly so glad for those mani/pedis that required him teaching Golden how the phone works. Although he’s realizing now that he missed explaining answering-the-phone etiquette. 

“Hey, it’s Elliot. I’m at the police station. They want my friends to come get me.”

Elliot hears Golden murmuring to Serene on the other end of the line.

It’s Serene who speaks into the phone next. “What happened?” She sounds alarmed.

“I’m at the police station,” Elliot says. “It’s like where they take people that were causing trouble to stop them from causing trouble.” He pauses. That is probably not a calming explanation to someone who grew up in the Borderlands where there is no civilian law, just war and battles and armies. “It’s not like a war thing. You don’t need to fight. Just come here, ask the concierge at the front desk for directions or to call a car or whatever and when you get here they’ll let me go with you.” He looks at the officers watching him make the call. They are giving him strange looks. He is explaining that being picked up by the policemen isn’t an act of war. He guesses that makes sense.

“Okay,” Serene says. “We’ll be there soon.” She passes the phone back to Golden, and he echoes Serene’s comment before hanging up.

“See, I do have friends.” The policemen do not seem convinced.

The seats in the police station are hard and uncomfortable and it is the middle of the night and Elliot is tired and passing from drunk to unpleasantly hung over. Tomorrow they go home, and Elliot thinks it is time to declare the weekend a loss. He does not make a good party planner. This side of the wall is just as awful as he remembered, even if this weekend it’s proving that in entirely new and different ways. He just wants to go to bed. It is such a waste of a pillow-top hotel bed to be spending the night in this stupid sort of but not really arrested police station. If he got up and walked out he doesn’t think anyone would stop him. But Serene and Golden are on their way and he doesn’t want them to worry. So he closes his eyes and waits.

Elliot dozes on and off in the uncomfortable chair, but he springs awake when the door swings open and Serene shouts “Elliot.”

He jumps up. “Serene. Golden.”

“You’re okay,” she says, like she’s not sure she believed him saying this isn’t an act of war.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he confirms. He turns back to the officers on the night shift sitting around at their desks. They are all already looking at him. They really didn’t believe he had friends. “Can I go now?”

“Please, get out of here,” PC Henderson says. “And don’t let us catch you making any more trouble.”

“Don’t worry,” Elliot says. “I’ll make sure I’m far away from you before I cause any more trouble.”

They are out the door before any of the officers can respond.

“Are you okay?” Golden says, tripping over Serene asking “Did you find Luke?” 

“Yes,” Elliot says, an answer to both questions. And then “wait, Luke didn’t go back to the hotel?”

“We haven’t seen him,” Serene says. “But maybe he got back after we left?”

“Let’s hope.”

———

They’re taking an Uber back and they pass a synagogue with a menorah all lit up out front. “Wait,” Elliot says. “Let me out here.” Elliot would think it were a sign if this whole weekend weren’t one series of inexplicable disasters after another. With that in mind, he doesn’t want to ascribe meaning to anything. He just wants to watch the lights flicker in the dark.

“Are you sure?” Golden says, looking around at the otherwise dark, deserted street.

“We can wait with you?” Serene says.

“No, go back to the hotel and make sure Luke got back their okay,” Elliot says. It would be too convenient if they agreed immediately, but with a bit more convincing, they leave him to it.

Elliot stands there and lets his mind empty, watching the real oil lights of the Menorah, the surrounding area seeming darker in the contrast to the flickering flames. So he startles when when Luke, out of nowhere says, “it’s pretty. Very flame-y.”

Elliot squints at Luke as he comes and stands next to Elliot. Luke has put his wings away, back to his regular ethereal self, no supernatural angel wings needed. “You don’t have to pretend to like it,” Elliot says. And then, “What are you doing here? You should be back at the hotel.”

“I’m not pretending,” Luke says. “It’s bright, and pretty, like a bunch of tiny bonfires. Like at school. I always liked watching the fire but then people always wanted to interrupt and talk. And you were always talking to some girl or another. God, I wanted you so much. It was a perfect torture.”

“Sorry,” Elliot says.

“For what?” Luke asks. But before Elliot can try to put into words an apology for misconstruing their entire first half-decade of knowing each other, Luke continues. “I should be apologising to you for tonight. I knew those trees were a sore point.”

“I knew you didn’t want me to throw this whole stupid party. I should have listened to you. It’s been a fucking disaster.” Yeah, Elliot was pissed at the Christmas tree thing. But somehow it seems so much less important when highlighted by the fear of Luke getting caught by policemen with his wings out. Luke annoys him all the time. That’s one of the things he loves about him.

“Maybe that’s why people on this side of the wall do these things,” Luke says.

“Huh?” Elliot is lost.

“If your relationship can’t weather one bad night, you shouldn’t be getting married,” Luke says.

“I can count two bad nights now,” Elliot says.

“Okay, a bad weekend,” Luke says, “whatever. Did you get into a lot of trouble back there?”

“If I still lived here, it probably wouldn’t be good. But we’ll be back home across the wall tomorrow and they won’t be able to track me down even if they wanted to.”

“Does that mean you can’t come back anymore?” Luke asks.

“I didn’t need to get dragged into the station by policemen to realize I don’t want to be here. I made that decision when I was seventeen.”

Luke hesitates. “And we’re okay?”

“Of course we are,” Elliot says. Whatever anger he was carrying is gone now, washed out in the stress of the night. “I love you.” A little fight doesn’t change that.

Luke takes that as permission to put his arm around Elliot’s shoulders and pull him into his side. Elliot wishes they were home, that Luke could let out his wings. Of course now that Luke’s stopped antagonizing Elliot on purpose and apologized, he’s put away. With the suit jacket back on, Luke looks perfectly beautifully human. Elliot misses them. He’s grown used to being cocooned in feathers for serious conversations. 

“Serene loves you too,” Elliot says, remembering what Luke said in the tree.

“I know,” Luke says.

“Things never stay the same,” Elliot continues. “They change and people grow and that’s not a bad thing.”

“I know,” Luke insisted, like he’s once again determined to prove everything elves think they know about men talking out their feelings is wrong.

But that doesn’t stop Elliot from continuing. “If nothing ever changed, I would have stayed home and lived with my dad and went to school in the other lands and never would have met you.” Even though there’s no one around, the dark, cold winter night feels too exposed for what he’s about to say. “Borrowing my dad’s credit card isn’t the only reason I came over early.”

“Stealing,” Luke says, but it’s half-hearted at best, the sort of token protest Luke puts up to show his affection.

“Whatever,” Elliot says, not letting Luke derail him. They are over the arguing portion of the evening and on to the feelings portion. He loves Luke’s contrariness. Luke can keep baiting for the rest of their lives.

Luke must agree, to the degree that he knows what Elliot is thinking after all these years in each other’s lives, because he doesn’t argue it either. “So what were you doing?”

‘“Buying this,” Elliot says, pulling a little box out of his pocket, flipping the lid open. There’s a ring inside. “It’s for you.”

“It’s pretty,” Luke says. But there’s no sign he recognizes the significance.

And shit. Luke said he didn’t want any of the traditions from this side of the wall. Elliot’s not sure if they do this in the Borderlands. Serene doesn’t have a ring. Although maybe Golden would be the one to have it in Elven culture? Does Golden have a ring? Elliot doesn’t know. Is he already screwing this up? What if Luke didn’t even mean it. He should have researched this. There must be a book that could tell him these things. He should have actually done that cross-cultural library research that he lied about. Too late now. “It’s a thing from this side of the wall,” Elliot says. “When someone wants to marry someone else, they give them an engagement ring. You said ‘when we get married,’ the other day,” Elliot explains. “And, yes, I want to marry you. So, I got you a ring. But maybe you weren’t serious, or were talking hypothetically, or you said you didn’t want to do it like they do here, so I shouldn’t have gotten you the ring, or -“

“Stop talking,” Luke says.

Elliot looks up at him.

Luke takes his arm off Elliot’s shoulders and holds his hand out instead. “Put the ring on my finger.”

“Wrong hand.” Elliot ignores the right hand that Luke is holding out and instead grabs his left hand that’s hanging loosely at his side.

“There’s a right side?” Luke asks.

“Left is for getting engaged,” Elliot says. “Then you get a second ring when you get married.” Elliot slips the ring on Luke’s finger. Luke’s ring is on his finger, golden and glowing in the flickering light of the menorah.

“There are a lot of rings in weddings on this side of the wall.”

“I guess,” Elliot says. He’s never really thought about it before.

“Next time I’ll get one for you,” Luke says.

“Okay,” Elliot says. 

Luke leans over and kisses Elliot. His lips are warm in the cold night air and Elliot wants to do this for the rest of his life, can’t believe he gets to keep Luke company, together in front on infinite future of bonfires as they bring peace across the Borderlands.

When they’re done kissing, Luke puts his right arm back around Elliot. Elliot keeps Luke’s left hand between his, thumb rubbing against where the metal of the ring is nestled against the base of Luke’s finger which it connects to his palm. 

“So I’m assuming there’s a story behind all these little campfires?” Luke says nodding at the menorah.

“Yeah,” Elliot says. “They are for Hanukkah. There were these people, the Romans, who tried to kill my people, the Jews, a very long time ago. And then they didn’t. But when the war was over, there was only enough oil to light the holy lights for one night and the place where they got more from was a week away. But the oil that was only supposed to last for one night lasted for eight nights. So we celebrate that miracle.”

“Why were they trying to kill you?” Luke asks.

“I don’t know,” Elliot says once again feeling the lack of his otherlands education. “People always are.”

“Is that why you don’t like us fighting in the Borderlands?”

“This war was thousands of years ago. I didn’t actually experience it,” Elliot says.

“And this miracle doesn’t have anything to do with the healing people miracle?”

“And turning water to wine,” Elliot says. Then, “no.”

Luke looks hesitant. “You can say whatever you’re thinking,” Elliot says. 

“The healing people seems like a bigger miracle.”

“This isn’t the biggest or most important holiday we celebrate,” Elliot says. “There are bigger miracles at other times of year. This one is just popular because it happens at the same time of year as Christmas and we didn’t want kids to get jealous. So now you get presents for eight nights.”

“Like the oil,” Luke says.

“Yeah,” Elliot says.

“What night is tonight?” Luke asks.

“Huh?”

“Like, the first night of presents, the second night of presents?”

“Oh,” Elliot says. “It’s the eighth night, because all the candles are lit,” Elliot points at the Menorah. “On the first night there’s one, the second there’s two, and so on.”

“Oh,” Luke says sounding upset that a holiday he didn’t know existed five minutes ago. “I didn’t get you any presents. Can I still get you something tomorrow? Or does that not count because the holiday is over? Or, I guess I can’t buy you things here because I don’t have one of those card things.” 

“A credit card,” Elliot says.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, technically it’s not my card either,” Elliot says. “So you can borrow it to buy whatever you want.”

“We should go to a bookshop tomorrow,” Luke says. “You like books. And I bet Sunflower would like a book on electricity. Can we buy Hanukkah presents for everyone else too?”

“Sure,” Elliot says. “Tomorrow. But we should go back to the hotel now.”

“Yeah, we should go to sleep so we can go shopping tomorrow,” Luke agrees, although Elliot has to pull him away before they actually leave. Luke really is into blinking, flickering lights.

And it’s not Elliot tugging on his hand that gets Luke to finally turn, but Elliot musing “do you think if we’re really quiet we can have sex in the hotel without waking up Serene and Golden?”

———

The answer is no, Golden and Serene are still sitting up in bed when they get back. Serene gets out a worried “Luke isn’t back yet,” before Luke slips into the room behind Elliot. 

“You found him,” Golden says.

“He found me, but yeah,” Elliot says.

But Golden’s not listening to Elliot’s answer. His gaze is laser focussed on where Elliot is holding Luke’s ring-clad hand. “What’s that?”

“What?” Elliot says, dropping Luke’s hand.

“That,” Golden points, and Luke lifts his hand, but instead of answering he gets distracted by his own hand, mesmerized by the ring on it. Golden scrambles down to the foot of the bed to get a better look

“How did you even notice that?” Elliot says.

“You thought I wouldn’t notice jewelry and fashion?” Golden says and he has a good point. 

“It’s an engagement ring,” Luke says still sounding a bit dazed.

“Engagement?” Serene asks, getting up to join them where they’re standing at the foot of the bed.

“Yeah,” Elliot says haltingly. They didn’t talk about telling people and this weekend is supposed to be for Golden. He doesn’t want to hone in on his celebration. But it’s too late to not say anything now. “It’s an otherlands thing, to give someone a ring to get engaged.”

“Oh, Luke,” Serene says, throwing herself at him in a giant hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

It takes Luke a second to process what’s happening before he raises his arms to return the hug and the two of them are whispering too quietly for Elliot to hear what they’re saying but Luke looks happy and Serene is clearly delighted for them.

“Congratulations,” Golden says, hugging Elliot. 

“Thanks.” He didn’t know they were hugging friends.

“You know what this means?” Golden says when he lets go. “It means I get to throw you one of these parties.”

“I don’t know,” Elliot says. “I kind of threw you a disaster of a party.”

“No, it was an adventure,” Golden says. “And, all’s well that ends well,”

“You guys have Shakespeare?”

“Who?” Golden asks.

“Never mind,” Elliot says.

Serene and Luke have moved on from whispering to squealing excitedly, and Elliot slides in next to Luke to see what they’re talking about. Golden joins too, shushing them. “Silver and Sunflower are asleep. Don’t wake them.”

Elliot looks at the door between the rooms and sees it’s still propped open a sliver. Maybe Golden is right. Everything is ending well.

———

The rest of the party is anticlimactic after that. They have brunch at the hotel buffet the next morning. There’s a machine that squirts pancake batter on a conveyor belt that cooks the pancakes, and they all eat entirely too many pancakes just because they want to watch it work. They check out of the hotel and take a car to a bookshop with all their luggage. 

They don’t really need more things to carry but Luke tells everyone they need to pick things out for Hanukkah presents. They all break up to find what they want and when they regroup Elliot has a stack of academic books on the founding of the world’s major religions. Sunflower comes back with something with a plasma ball on the cover that must be about electricity. Golden has a stack of glossy bridal magazines. Silver is the real surprise of the group, a stack of trade paperback bodice rippers in his hands.

After the book store they take a car back to the wall, and then it’s a long up and over walk back to real life and hugs at the end. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll be next,” Golden tells Silver, hugging him goodbye. 

“I think they’ve already claimed next,” Silver says nodding to Luke and Elliot.

“That’s different,” Golden says. “They get to have a big party next, but they’ve been together forever, you still get to fall in love.”

Elliot nudges Luke and points to where Silver and Golden are having a moment. “See, it all worked out.”

“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t all bad,” Luke says. But his words don’t match his face, smile beaming as he looks down and catches sight of his ring again. Elliot could really get used to the way Luke’s face keeps going soft every time he remembers it’s there.

“So you won’t complain when Golden throws us one of these things,” Elliot says.

“Uh-huh,” Luke nods not really listening. Then Elliot’s words catch up with him and he says “wait, what?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Kass. Happy yuletide! 
> 
> Your letter was a delight (even if it contained spoilers for Spinning Silver). I never thought of Elliot as a Rodney McKay type before but I love him and the comparison is apt. 
> 
> I feel like I always learn something about myself writing for Yuletide. I had a lot of ‘insert something funny here’ in my first draft, and I’m not sure I succeed. I think what I learned this year is that I’m not clever enough to write In Other Lands fic (despite the 20,000 words to the contrary you see here). I tried to hit a lot of your other likes to make up for my lack of good elven gender roll quips. 
> 
> Elf names are hard and I struggled to come up with them myself. All other names come from https://twitter.com/uberdrivernames and https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/english_names.php. 
> 
> The redacted thing the notes in the beginning was which hand engagement rings go on and also, I had to look up how to do tequila shots, popular karaoke songs, and the lyrics to All I Want for Christmas is You.


End file.
